


The College Years

by bluesapphic



Category: Leah on the Offbeat - Becky Albertalli, Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Canon Compliant, College, M/M, Post-Canon, University
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-23
Packaged: 2019-05-18 11:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14851673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesapphic/pseuds/bluesapphic
Summary: Snapshot scenes of Simon and Bram going through college and dealing with their long-distance relationship.





	1. Love Me While I'm Here -- Summer Before Freshman Year

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many thoughts about how Bram and Simon would be during college and I really needed to share them. I hope you all enjoy!

“And if you look there, you can make out the Big Dipper. Isn’t it beautiful?” Bram pointed to a series of stars in the night sky.

Simon hummed.

“You’re not even looking at the sky, are you?”

“Why look at the sky when I could be looking at my amazing, wonderful, very adorable boyfriend?”

Bram smiled softly and turned to see that Simon was lying completely on his side, head propped up in one hand. “You can look at me any time.”

“I can look at the sky any time. You, on the other hand, I can only appreciate fully for the next month.”

“Simon, we’re going to see each other all the time, it’s not like I’m going to be gone forever.”

Simon huffed. “Only twice a month. That’s not enough, Bram.”

“And we’re going to Skype and email, you won’t even have time to miss me.”

“I’m always going to have time to miss you. I already miss you and you’re not even gone yet.”

Bram shifted to mirror Simon, and then leaned forward quickly to give Simon a peck on the lips. “Sweetie, I know goodbyes are tough for you, but it’s really only four years, not forever. And we’ll see each other twice a month through the year. And then we have the summer.” Bram placed his hand on Simon’s neck, caressing Simon’s jaw with his thumb. “But right now, I want you to focus on the present. Don’t miss me while I’m here, otherwise all of the time we spend together will be wasted thinking about the times we’re not together.”

“When did you get so wise?” Simon asked with a crooked smile. And then Simon gently nudged Bram to his back and rolled onto him, kissing him deeply and fervently. Bram felt the grass beneath him tickle his neck as he put his arms on Simon’s waist and pulled him closer.

And then, as quickly as it started, it ended. Simon pulled away, pressed a kiss to Bram’s cheek and then rolled back onto the grass. Simon slid his hand into Bram’s and entwined their fingers as he looked back up at the sky.

“Okay, baby. Explain again, where’s the Big Dipper?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this will end up being longer than 13 chapters, but 13 is what I have planned for right now, so let's just roll with it, I guess.


	2. I Wonder If I'll Ever Let Go - Summer Before Freshman Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick and Simon have a conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm already off track. I wasn't planning this chapter, but it just sort of popped into my head and then I had to write it. I know there's not a lot of Bram in this chapter, so I'm sorry in advance. He'll definitely be in the next chapter, though.

Simon could feel the sun hot at his back as he plopped down in the itchy grass next to the soccer field. He squinted out at the boys on the field, eyes finding Bram immediately.

Bram and his soccer buddies were playing something called a pickup game, and Simon had promised to come watch, even if he didn’t have any particular interest in the game itself. He was happy enough to stare Bram’s calves the whole game.

He glanced to his left and saw Morgan and Taylor sitting on the sidelines as well, which was interesting. There was, unfortunately, no Leah or Abby in sight. They were probably still giving Nick his space, which sucked for Simon because now he his only options for conversation were either someone with whom he had essentially nothing in common or with someone who only talked about herself and the ways in which she was better than everyone else. Simon sighed; maybe sitting quietly by himself wouldn’t be so bad.

Of course, Simon really didn’t have anything to worry about because minutes after he sat down, Nick walked off the field to join him. Simon could feel Taylor eyeing them, but, thankfully, she chose not to come over.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Aren’t you supposed to be playing?” Simon asked.

“We have eleven people so we’re playing five on five. One of us has to come off the field for that to work. We’ll switch out,” Nick sat down and took a deep swig from his water bottle.

“I thought each team was supposed to have eleven players.”

“That’s for actual soccer games. This is just a pickup game.”

Simon raised his eyebrows at Nick. “You are aware that I don’t actually know what that means, right?”

“It just means a game where anyone can join. There’s no ref, and no real rules other than don’t be a dick and don’t purposefully try to hurt someone.”

“Hmmm. Interesting.”

“Is it really?”

“No not at all.”

Nick snorted.

“Greenfeld! Eyes on the ball, for the love of God!” someone yelled.

Simon turned back to the field to see Bram looking at him. Simon grinned at him and waved enthusiastically until Bram turned his attention back to the game.

Simon heard Nick sigh and glanced over. “You okay?”

“Do you really think you and Bram are going to be together in four years?”

Simon’s smile faltered a little. He knew Nick was still having trouble getting over Abby, but it had been two months. He just wished Nick could be happy for him and Bram. “Yeah, I really do.”

“How can you know that for sure, though? And what’s the point of putting so much effort in right now if you’re going to just break up?”

“Nick,” Simon made his best ‘I am not amused’ face.

Nick gave Simon a pained look.

Simon softened his voice, “Nick, I know you’re still upset about Abby, but Bram and I are not you and Abby. I know it sucks that Abby didn’t see a future with you, but I can’t imagine a future without Bram. I don’t want to imagine a future without him.”

Nick sighed sadly as he pondered that for a minute. “Okay. I know you imagine your future with him, but just, for a second, pretend that you magically know that you’d break up in two years. Is it still worth it?”

Simon rolled his eyes and looked back at his boyfriend who was running across the field, somehow barely exhausted. He didn’t want to take Nick seriously, but he was going to try. Nick was still one of his best friends and maybe Simon’s answer would help.

He knew that breaking up with Bram would be devastating. There would be a lot of crying involved, possibly boxes of Oreos on the floor. Or maybe not. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to look at Oreos after their theoretical break up.

Simon shook his head. Yeah, breaking up with Bram would suck, majorly. But that wasn’t what Nick was asking.

So he thought about how after the game, Bram would come over and give him a sweaty hug and a sweet kiss. He thought about all of the time he spent with Bram, making out with him, talking to him, laughing with him, even just looking at him. He thought about how happy he was whenever he was with Bram, the happy ache that was in his stomach whenever Bram looked at him. That happiness, it was better than anything in the whole freaking world. He would give up anything to have that forever. Even Oreos.

“Yeah,” Simon whispered. “It would still be worth it. If I knew our relationship’s end date was in two years, I still wouldn’t trade those two years of being with him for anything.”

Simon gazed at his boyfriend a little bit longer before speaking again.

“But Nick, I just want you to know: I am definitely going to marry that man someday.”

“What if he doesn’t want to marry you?”

Simon huffed. Didn't Nick know he was trying to help? Simon couldn't help but be just a little bit angry. It had been two months and Simon wasn't going to sit around and listen to this kind of thing forever. “Nick, why are you doing this?”

Nick put his hands up defensively. “No, I don’t mean it like that. I just mean, some guys think marriage is just a piece of paper, that it’s not important. Have you guys talked about marriage before? How do you even know if he wants to get married?”

Simon gave Nick an annoyed look. “No, we haven’t talked about marriage yet. We just graduated high school, I think it’s a little bit early for that.”

“So you don’t know if he wants to get married at all,” Nick confirmed.

“I’m sure he does,” Simon replied, but he was starting to feel doubtful. “I guess I’ll ask him about it at some point, when the time is right.”

They sat silently for a little bit longer, just watching the game. Bram scored a goal and Simon cheered loudly, not paying attention to everyone else’s smirks and amused eye rolls.

Nick watched Bram’s embarrassed, but pleased reaction to Simon’s antics and smiled reluctantly. They really were cute together.

Nick nudged Simon’s arm with his own. “I’m sorry, Si,” Nick whispered.

“It’s okay,” Simon whispered back, not taking his eyes off of Bram.

“Bram probably wants to marry you. He'd probably say yes if you asked him right now.”

"Mmm."

“I’m just still really stuck on this whole Leah and Abby thing. It came out of nowhere and it happened so fast. I know that’s no excuse for me being an asshole to you.”

“You’re right, it’s not.”

“It just stings, you know?”

“Yeah. I do know,” Simon leaned over so his arm was touching Nick’s. “You’ll get over it eventually, Nick. It just takes time and space.”

“How much time, though? It’s been months since Abby and I broke up. Months since they got together. I haven’t even talked to either of them outside of a brief hello here and there when we all hang out in a group. And I’m still miserable.”

Simon wished he knew the answer to Nick’s question. He wished he could take at least a little bit of the pain away. But he couldn’t do either of those things. Instead, he rested his head on Nick’s shoulder and wrapped his arms around his waist. “I don’t know. Maybe when we’re actually in college, it’ll be better. Or maybe if you meet another girl.”

Nick smiled bitterly. “Like Taylor?”

Simon laughed, but there was no real amusement behind it. “Or maybe someone who talks about their metabolism a little bit less.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like her.”

Simon moved to stare at Nick. “Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

“Wow.”

“Why is that so hard to believe? She’s not a bad person.”

“You’re right, she’s not. I just, it’s Taylor Metternich. I can’t imagine you two dating.”

“I’m not saying I want her to be my girlfriend, just that she’s cool to hang out with.”

“Ok,” Simon put his head back on Nick’s shoulder.

“What, you’re not going to push it? Ask me why I think she’s cool?”

Simon thought about it. Making a big deal out of this would be a very Simon thing to do, but he also knew that wasn’t what Nick needed right now. “No. You’ll tell me how it’s going with her if you think it’s important.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Hey, Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“How are you doing? Like, really? I know you’re still miserable, but is it as bad as before?”

“You’re asking if I’m still getting drunk all the time.”

Simon squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah.”

“No, it’s not quite as bad. I haven’t touched alcohol in a month.”

“Good. We were all really worried about you for a bit.”

“Simon?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for asking.”

“That’s what friends are for.”

“Yeah.” Nick paused. “I really am sorry about earlier, Si.”

“I know. I forgive you.”


	3. I'm Just Feeling Low -- First Semester Freshman Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bram is lonely and homesick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me forever to write this, I live a busy life. These updates will probably be once a week on weekends from now on, unless I can manage to find some free time in between.

_Hey babe, I know we were planning to video-chat tonight, but Anna and Jake want to go to this gay comedy show, is it okay if we reschedule? I promise I’ll make it up to you!_

Bram flopped on his bed and stared at the text Simon had sent him this afternoon. He hated how lonely he felt without Simon. He hated the pang of jealousy that went through him every time Simon did something with his new Haverford friends and not with him.

They’d only been apart one week and Simon already had a million friends to hang out with. And Bram’s new roommate, Tony was out with his drinking buddies. Meanwhile, Bram was sitting in his room, alone on a Friday night. How did Simon make friends so easily? How did anyone make friends so easily?

Bram sighed and turned over onto his stomach, deciding that if he couldn’t talk to Simon, reading the Sorcerer’s Stone was the next best thing. He shifted and stretched his arm out to grab the book on his desk, not wanting to get out of bed. The book was just out of reach, and Bram barely grazed it with his fingers. He shifted slightly, hoping that would help, but when he stretched further, he knocked the book off of his desk.

Bram groaned. Why did everything have to be so difficult? He closed his eyes and let out a frustrated sigh before getting out of the bed to pick up the book, which was well worn from numerous rereads.

Bram sat on his bed, back to the wall and started the book, willing away thoughts of Simon having fun without him.

* * *

Bram was half way through the book when he saw his phone light up. He put the book down hastily and grabbed at his phone, hoping Simon had decided to call after all.

He was disappointed to see that it was just his dad. And then he felt guilty at the disappointment.

“Hey Dad,” Bram said answering the video call.

Bram saw a blur and heard some gurgling from the other side and then, “Bam!”

“Caleb?” Bram asked, smiling slightly. “Is that you?”

“Bam!” Caleb said again and then the image adjusted so Bram could see his little brother happily bouncing up and down in his dad’s arms.

“Hey kid, sorry, I'm sure you're probably busy, but Caleb got ahold of my phone and when he saw your picture he wouldn’t stop screaming until I called.”

“No problem, Dad. I’m always happy to talk to you and Caleb.”

“I’m here too!” Bram’s stepmom, Stephanie, called from the background.

“And Stephanie. I’m always happy to talk to all of you.”

“How was your welcome week? Or what is it called there? Orientation week?” Bram’s dad asked. “Have you made friends?”

“It was fine. It’s been nice to walk around campus and get to know the place. And I don’t know about friends. I know some people now, but no one I’ve really clicked with yet.”

Bram’s dad looked at him with what he probably thought were kind, sympathetic eyes, but all Bram could see was pity. “I can see you’re worried you won’t be able to make friends, but you’ll get there, son. It’s only been a week and you’ve probably only talked to, what, twenty people? Once you start classes and get to know the other people in your dorm, you’ll be fine.”

“I hope so. I don’t know, though, if everyone is like Tony, going out every night and drinking and partying, I’m not sure I’m going to fit in.”

“Who’s Tony again?” Bram’s dad asked, distracted by Caleb's hands in his face.

“My roommate? You met him on Sunday when we moved in.”

“Right, right. You have a good head on your shoulders, Abraham. You’ll find your people.”

Bram sighed. His dad didn’t get it. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“And no drinking. Not until you’re 21.”

Well that was a rule Bram had already broken. “Yup, you got it, Dad.”

“Set a good example for Caleb,” Stephanie added.

“Speaking of Caleb, he is slowly falling asleep in my arms, so I’m going to put him to bed. I love you, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Alright, bye Dad. Bye Stephanie. Bye Caleb.”

“Bam,” Caleb called again, sleepily.

“Love you,” Bram said as the video cut out.

Bram was surprised at the emptiness that filled him then. He had the sudden, overwhelming urge to cry and felt pathetic for missing everyone so badly and for wishing that everyone didn’t have better, more important things to do than talk to him.

He couldn’t even bring himself to continue Harry Potter, so he tossed it back onto his desk, flicking off the lights before climbing into bed and sobbing silently into his pillow.

* * *

_Bzzz Bzzz Bzzz. Bzzz. Bzzz Bzzz._

Bram lifted his head up from his pillow and squinted into the darkness, searching for the buzzing noise that had woken him up. He scanned the bed with his hand until he found his phone and flipped it over, cursing at the sudden light that emanated from the screen.

He blinked a few times before looking at the screen and seeing Simon’s face grinning up at him. Bram glanced at the time, 11 PM, and answered the call.

“Hey babe!” Simon practically yelled.

“Mmm, hey,” Bram replied, wiping the sleep fro his eyes.

“Oh no,” Simon said, bringing his voice down to a whisper. “Did I wake you up? I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine. I don’t have to be up for anything. I mostly fell asleep by accident anyway.”

“Long day?”

“Something like that.”

“You wanna talk about it?” Simon asked, concerned.

“Not really. How was your comedy thing?”

“Fun! The comedians were really pretty hilarious. You would have liked them, I think.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Simon smiled softly at him. “There was this one black gay dude and this trans Indian girl and I have no idea how they did it, but they made politics and social commentary so freaking funny, I was laughing my head off the whole time.”

“That’s awesome,” Bram said, trying to sound genuine and not like he was hating every minute of Simon’s life without him.

“It felt weird not having you there, though. I kept wanting to turn to you and make comments about what was going on, but then I remembered you’re an hour and a half away.”

“You could have texted me.”

“I tried. Anna said if I took my phone out, she’d confiscate it until tomorrow and I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow to talk to you.”

“We talk every day, missing one day wouldn’t have been a travesty,” Bram replied, although he was grateful that Simon had called.

“Yeah. Well, I just wanted to tell you that I love you before I go to bed. And I do. I love you so much. And I miss you. And I can’t wait to come visit you in two weeks.”

“I love you too and I miss you too, and I can’t wait for you to visit either.”

“I freaking hate not being able to kiss you.”

“You’ll get to soon.”

“It’s never soon enough.”

* * *

Bram rolled over in bed, waking up to the sunshine pouring into his window. He reached for his phone immediately, out of habit, to look at the time. 7:30 AM. It was too early to be up on a Saturday.

He looked at his notifications and noticed an email.

_From: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com_

_To: bluegreen118@gmail.com_

_Date: September 2 at 12:07 AM_

_Subject: Feeling Blue?_

_Blue,_

_So I had this weird conversation with my boyfriend. I don’t even know how to tell you about it. I called him to talk to him about my night out with some of my new college friends and to tell him that I loved him and I missed him. But when I called, it was like he wasn’t interested in talking to me. And I know, I’m probably being ridiculous, but it felt like something was off and he didn’t want to talk to me about it. And he always talks to me about everything. I don’t know what to think or if I did something wrong._

_I should admit, I did ask him to reschedule a video-chat so I could hang out with friends. Do you think he’s mad about that? I feel like if he was upset he’d tell me though. He’s usually pretty open about that stuff. We both are, that’s what makes our relationship so great._

_Should I ask him about it? Should I leave it alone and hope he talks to me about whatever is wrong? Am I reading too much into all of this and really he was just tired because I woke him up? What do you think?_

_Love,_

_Jacques_

Bram sighed. Simon had picked up on his lack of enthusiasm last night. He was embarrassed about the whole thing, though. He was homesick, he was Simon-sick, and no one else seemed to have the same problem. All of his friends were happy to finally get out of their parents’ houses and live independent lives.

So he procrastinated emailing back by taking a shower and getting ready for the day, knowing that Simon wouldn’t be up for a few hours anyway.

When Bram had finally run out of things to do, he sat at his desk and stared at his laptop, taking a deep breath and typing, knowing emailing Simon would be easier than talking to him about this in real time.

_From: bluegreen118@gmail.com_

_To: hourtohour.notetonote@gmail.com_

_Date: September 2 at 9:44 AM_

_Subject: Re: Feeling Blue?  
_

_Dear Jacques,_

_I’m sure your boyfriend wanted to talk to you. And he’s probably not mad at you. Actually, scratch that: he’s definitely not mad at you. He’s just homesick. And he misses you. And he’s embarrassed because you’ve somehow already made a ton of friends and he’s made a grand total of zero._

_And yeah, he was probably a little bit upset that you reschedule that video call, but mostly because you had something to do on a Friday night and he didn’t. He doesn’t resent you for having friends and he doesn’t want you to miss out on having fun with them for his sake._

_He loves you and is really, really happy that you called him last night because he missed your voice._

_Love,_

_Blue_

Minutes after Bram clicked send, his phone started buzzing again. Simon.

Bram answered and didn’t even get out a hello.

“Babe. I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me you were homesick?”

“I don’t know. No one else is.”

“Are you freaking kidding? Of course I’m homesick. I miss my mom and dad and Bieber and even Nora. And most of all, I miss you. I miss holding your hand every day and giving you hugs and kissing you hello and kissing you goodbye and all the times in between. I’ve never missed anyone or anything more in my life.”

Bram laughed. “You’re so dramatic.”

“What did you expect from me?”

“Nothing less.”

“You know it’s okay to feel homesick. I’m sure most people feel that way, but, like you, they’re to ashamed to admit it.”

“How can you be so sure about that?”

“I just am.”

“That sounds like Simon logic.”

“Maybe it is. But I’d bet it’s true,” Simon tilted his head and looked at Bram with warm eyes.

"Is everyone crying themselves to sleep at night, too?"

"Are you?"

Seeing Simon's worried face, Bram felt a little guilty for mentioning it. "I did last night. Before you called me. But it was just the once. It was nothing."

"Bram, baby, it's not nothing. If you ever feel like that, call me, okay? I'll drop anything for you."

"Yeah, but I don't want you to."

"Bram, I want to know when you're feeling like that. If I can't be there in person, I want to at least be there through the magic of computers."

Bram acquiesced. "Okay. Next time I feel like that, I'll call you."

"Even if I'm in the middle of class."

"Even if you're in the middle of class."

“Good. And as for the friend thing, that’s just my way of coping. I know I need to be surrounded by people to not feel so horrible about not being with you and Nick and Leah and Abby. So, I talk to everyone.”

“I don’t know how you do it.”

“Honestly, I’m not really sure either. I just talk and talk and hope I don’t put my foot in my mouth and people won’t hate me.”

“How is that supposed to help me?”

“It doesn’t.”

“Great. Thanks.”

“I’m sorry, Bram. I just think you’ll feel better if you join the soccer team. I know you said you didn’t want to, but it’ll be good for you to have something outside of schoolwork. And you should join a ton of clubs. Also, someone this week said a good way to make friends is to talk to people in your class and exchange phone numbers under the guise of sharing notes in case one of you misses a class, but then, like, also hit them up with an invite to a party or something.”

“That seems kind of creepy.”

“Yeah, in hindsight it kind of does. Maybe don’t do that one. But the other two are still good.”

“Okay.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“I always feel better when I’m talking to you.”

Simon smiled. “Don’t bottle this stuff up, okay? I don’t ever want you to feel like you can’t talk to me about this stuff. I’m always going to be there for you.”

“I know. Sometimes it’s just not easy, though, you know?”

“Yeah. Do you want me to come up this weekend instead of next weekend?”

“No, don’t do that. We need to get used to being in school and not with each other all the time.”

“That sucks. I want to be with you all the time.”

“Yeah. Me too,” Bram whispered.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I’ll be there, in the flesh, in two weeks.”

“13 days. I’m marking the days off in my calendar.”

“I’ve got a countdown going on my computer.”

Bram laughed. “Dramatic.”

“You love it.”

“I do.”


End file.
